Published On: Fri, Apr 16th, 2010

Bill Gates Bans iTunes From Windows

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Today Bill Gates made the unprecedented announcement that Apple’s iTunes is banned from the Windows OS.

Our roving reporter was lucky enough to catch up with Bill and ask him why Microsoft had made this astonishing announcement. Bill had the following to say on this subject…

“In the first place we were happy that they (Apple) deployed iTunes to Windows; we got a lot of new customers just because of that one app, but, then we heard from an inside source that they (Apple) used the EXACT SAME code-base for iTunes Mac as for Windows.

On closer inspection we noticed that iTunes didn’t even use the real windows API! They make their own scroll system and their own chrome COMPLETELY bypassing our fantastic Windows OS. So, we’ve decided enough is enough. We’ll allow iTunes back into Windows when they (Apple) make the following changes.

  • Apple MUST write a specialised version of  iTunes on Windows and use Windows compilers and Windows languages ONLY
  • Apple MUST use native windows controllers such as our in built Windowing system and scroll objects.
  • Apple MUST lose this RIDICULOUS attitude of writing code once and deploying to multiple operating systems. Just don’t go there.

If they (Apple) can follow those few simple rules, then we (Microsoft) will be happy to allow them back on Windows.”

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